I had my first round of Life in the Spirit Seminar (LSS) today in our village parish, there's a round two tomorrow. The seminar was all about the following topics: God's Love, Salvation, New Life, and Praise and Worship. Of course, when attending seminars such as these, there would be always a song and dance repertoire taught to the participants. When I was watching and trying to join in the song and dance, I felt awkward and felt foolish... Parang hindi na ako game. When I was in highschool, I would gladly oblige and join in the fun. Heck, kami pa nga ng mga friends ko yung naglealead ng pagkanta at pagsayaw.
I just don't know what came over me. I guess I should have done this a long time ago, when I was still game. Was it because of age? I was starting to notice the change in my behavior lately--- starting to doubt other people about their credibility, seeing that everyone has an evil hidden agenda, afraid to help out because of the "exploitation" that might happen, being CYNICAL about everything. Hwow lahat negative. Grabe 'no? Hindi ako ganito dati! And I hate it! I hate having to think about these things but I can't help it. Everyday I meet new people, grow relationships, get to know more about a person, and I suddenly become cynical and doubtful. Is this person out to get me? Is s/he about to take advantage of my friendly nature? Am I about to be duped by someone who I trusted so much? Grabe, nae-eeks na ako sa ugali na ganito. I was forewarned by my brother about this, and he said not to fall into this trap. Yes, it's a trap. I don't want to live another day, thinking about people who are out to get me and exploit me...
About doubting God, when I started to probe into deeper science, I began to think about all the things the Bible is preaching. It say things about how the universe/earth formed, how man was created, the seven plagues, the staff of Moses, the pass over of the Israelites, the big tidal waves, etc. I believe that stories like these can be backed up by scientific evidence. Take for example how the earth was formed---through the big bang theory; how man was formed---Darwin's theory of evolution; the staff of Moses--- it was just a snake that can stiffen itself when held in a certain part/position; the water of Nile turned into blood--- it was red earth/clay that in a certain time of the year, it deposits itself in the river Nile. And the reason why the water that Egyptians drank became red was because river Nile was the source of their water; tidal waves/ pass over of the Israelites on the Dead Sea--- caused by the nearness of the moon to the earth. See? Majority can be backed up by Science.
But of course, there's that never-ending debate about God's existence. My favorite argument was the one proposed by St. Thomas Aquinas. He was able to reason that for an object to be moved, there must be a mover, and that mover is God. I realized that through God natural things happen, get my drift? For the gases and the solids to combine, a mover must be present, a strong energy must come from somewhere, and that energy MUST BE GOD. Read Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. In that novel, Science and Religion was fused together--- in the molecular level. If you want, visit CERN.com and see.
When I took confession today, I discussed all of these problems to the priest. God has given me that priest to be able to convey His message to me. This was what he said: God made us intelligent and made us to logically reason things out. I tried to logically sort things out, and as I reasoned further, things fell into place. I know what I need to know about God, and nothing more. God does exist.
No comments:
Post a Comment