I can't sleep so I decided to catch and write my thoughts here in this blog. Will just be throwing words and ideas so this entry will have no coherence whatsoever.
Why are some people pretentious?
Merriam-Webster defines pretentious as, "having or showing the unpleasant quality of people who want to be regarded as more impressive, successful, or important than they really are." I have numerous friends (or acquaintances? or strangers whom I've browsed over the internet) who are until now, despite being more than five years in the workforce (read: relatively mature and experienced), showing an unnecessary facade just to impress and be in the elite's social circle. Why is this? Why do they have to hide who they are and what they're made of? Are they afraid of isolation? Being ostracised? Do they have low self-esteem that when they show others their true selves, what they are capable of, they'll be ridiculed and shunned? Actually what's more humiliating is that when the circle they're trying to fit into discovers they're phoneys, trying hard, people-pleasers. I don't understand why there has to be a "front", why some make up stories/lies just to impress others. You won't win the affection and company of friends with this, you'll only isolate yourself more.
Anonymity is powerful
These past days I've been commuting the hard way. Hard way means I let go of comfort (goodbye Uber and Grab) and embrace the hardship of riding public utility vehicles (hello jeepneys and MRT). Yes, riding PUVs is difficult. It's physically taxing and harmful to a person's health. You increase the probability of catching some virus or bacterial infection along your commuting path. Not to mention you also increase the number of times you do booger picking in a day, haha! Kadire! But it's true!
There was this instance I commuted looking like crap: I just came from a night-shift monitoring duty with less than four hours of sleep; I had no make-up on; my hair was already clinging to my scalp and was oily; my clothes were a bit crumpled and baggy; my eye bags and skin complexion were just too much to bear when I looked in the mirror. But for a brief moment I revelled in it. It's as if I was another person, a new character in my life's book that felt the ruggedness and hardship and starkness of reality. In this brief moment when I traveled from Quezon City to BGC to Muntinlupa, I felt I was lost in a pool of masses with long faces, trudging within the concrete jungle that is Metro Manila. A very strong sense of empathy welled up in me. I felt like a salesperson in an SM Department Store or grocery; a bystander in the MRT station waiting for God knows what; a sidewalk vendor of candies, cigarettes, peanuts, bottled water, fish crackers, fish ball, calamari, quail eggs; a mall cart vendor of food, sundries, clothing items; a jeepney driver; a security guard in a mall or in the MRT; an employee who's been in the same company for eight years but have not been promoted; a mendicant with two unkempt children sleeping on the overpass; a breadwinner trying to eke out a living to feed her/his family. So many thoughts synapsing in my brain and the more I process this, the more I feel THANKFUL and CONTENTED with what I have. First and foremost I am very thankful for my loving family. They are my life's anchor; the tie that binds my life together. Without them, without the love and care they have given me, I could not have been where I am today.
Much time is wasted while commuting
Many times I find myself staring into nothingness while commuting. This is such a waste of time (in my opinion). The train ride from Magallanes to Quezon Ave. takes 20 minutes.The bus ride from Sucat going to Magallanes take about an hour. The ride from Quezon Ave. going to PHIVOLCS via jeepney takes about 15 minutes. The walk from the intersection of University Ave. and CP Garcia Ave. going to PHIVOLCS is five minutes. All in all a one-way trip going to the office takes 1h40m. One hour and forty minutes of doing nothing. Well if you think about it, what is 1h40m anyway? Well, I've decided to do some habit-forming techniques in this 1h40m commuting time. They are:
1. Listening to an audio book - it hones my listening skills and my brain is not idle.
2. Praying - it is a form of meditation hence, I learn to shut everything out and just focus on praying and talking to God. It refreshes not just my soul but also my brain.
3. Reading - it practices my reading skills and thought process.
4. Writing down my to-do list in my cellphone - instead of accomplishing this when I get to the office, I use my commuting time to think of my day's activities. This way I can immediately sort and address the urgent and important tasks.
Now I feel sleepy. I guess this entry will suffice for tonight.
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