This was the cover of Time Magazine in August 2013. Ten years after its publication, this resonates even more among couples. "When having it all means not having children" --- don't you agree? While having children brings with it a certain kind of joy, happiness, and fulfillment, it also brings a certain kind of hardship, frustration, and stress among parents. Honestly, I wouldn't know because I don't have children myself, yet. But there is some truth to the quote above.
So what's the purpose of this post then? I really don't know. Maybe this serves as a documentation in my life where my view on having children ten years ago still somewhat applies ten years later. I don't have anything against children nor having children. I was brought up in a household where children are loved and valued and nurtured. This experience should help me embrace the idea/decision of having children of my own, shouldn't it? But no. What is shaping my decision now are the environments that I have been exposed to. Is it really advantageous nowadays to have children, considering that society is becoming increasingly uber-competitive and that climate change is wreaking havoc across the globe? The children that we bear, should they be brought forth and raised in this kind of environment?
Maybe instead of creating and birthing children, perhaps the better option is to adopt? This way, we need not add to the burgeoning population, but make do of what we have and improve on that. Though that doesn't make one child-free, but at least not adding another human being in this world lessens the impact to the environment.
So perhaps the point here I'm making is not that I agree with 'having it all means not having children', but whether or not we should give birth to children and add to the population.
The idea of having children is not one that I'm shunning however, I am not excited at the thought of it compared to when I was younger. I am at a point in my life wherein regardless if I would bear children or not, it doesn't matter. I give birth to babies, yay. I don't give birth to babies, yay. Either way, it's fine. But what is not fine is the pressure and the judgement that you would get from family members. Just because we decide to nurture a child who does not carry our genes makes the child unlovable and unwanted. That is so morally wrong, scientifically flawed, and highly illogical.
Unfortunately, the society I grew up in would most likely think this way. And I would be judged as the woman who may be achieving high in her career but failed as a wife and as a potential mother. Despite carefully and meticulously building myself to become a respectable woman in the STEM field, just because I failed to become a mother, then I failed as a woman. That's fucking bullshit. But where I come from, this is true.
Anyway, I didn't mean for this post to sound as if I'm ranting, just stating what's running in my head. Not sure how to end this, but I guess I just want to float the idea of adopting instead of giving birth. And that this should be COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE and OKAY, and that no ill judgement should be made by family members. Take note, family members. Because others can say whatever the fuck they want, but I uphold family members (both immediate and in-laws) to a higher standard and they SHOULD RESPECT and ACCEPT whatever decision we make as husband and wife.
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