Today's thoughts

I'm so happy.

I am so happy and in love with the person I am with.

I remember the times when I was in so much pain and anguish and I wished these feeling to disappear but they wouldn't so in my head, thoughts of taking my life swirled, already having a plan on how to execute it but I discussed the matter with my parents, what I was feeling and I was surprised at their reaction because they were calm and composed, especially my mom, she handled me like a pro; she didn't find my plan ludicrous nor did she get angry why I even thought of that and she was just cool about it but I sensed her worry and alarm in the tone of her voice; she even suggested for me to seek professional help and it was so calming and comforting that an epiphany came over me and decided that it's beyond crazy to take my own life because I cannot tolerate the pain anymore--- that is crazy, looking back, but hey, it is something valid and every person is allowed to feel what s/he wants to feel and no one should dictate what they should do rather, they should be guided how to discern, how to make self-realisations because you want them to own up and stand by their own decisions and yes, I am writing this paragraph without any period.

I am so happy I let myself feel the pain; wallow in it; embrace the pain and finally let go; such a liberating feeling because freeing myself from all hurt made me fall in love again and what a beautiful love we have because of a myriad of reasons: I've fallen in love with someone who gives me much joy and love; who appreciates my efforts and my achievements; who is goal- and family-oriented, and witty, and handsome; but most important, someone who is God-fearing, kind-hearted, and funny and I cannot ask for more.

I am so happy and in love with the person I am with.

I'm so happy.