Today's thoughts: On being slow in finishing homework

Learning about reflective journaling made me write more in my blog recently. I think this is a good way not just to practice my writing skills, but to also hone my willpower to do a routine activity. Whenever I write in my blog, I feel like I'm just aimlessly typing away, writing whatever comes first in my thoughts. It's relaxing and also fulfilling; writing gives me a sense of achievement. It would usually be going to the gym but that's not happening recently. It's been more than a month since I last exercised, which sucks. Though at least I'm still able to do my Duolingo everyday and write in my blog twice a week. February will be over soon and perhaps next week I'll reevaluate what has happened this month. This entry would probably be my last for February.

For this entry I'd like to talk about the rate at which I finish my homework. Now that I'm collaborating more with my classmates on coursework assignments, I get to observe how quick some of them are able to accomplish homework. For example, a recent assessment in my Epidemiology class took me two days to finish, working on it for at least two hours for Day 1, and another three hours for Day 2. That's five hours total (or probably more) of working on a simple three-question assignment. My classmate apparently worked on hers for only, I'm surmising, two hours. Another instance, I was working on the introduction section assignment for my Discovery-based paper class. I've worked on the damn assignment for three or four days, whereas my classmates, I think it only took them two days or less to work on the assignment. As for the outcome of both assignments, I got a perfect score on my Epidemiology paper, and I got good comments for my Discover-based paper. This is good and all, but the thing is, I bet some of my classmates also got good scores without having to slave over the assignments like I did! I don't know, I just feel like I'm probably overdoing stuff. And this causes me to feel, to a certain degree, anxiety and fear, which then triggers a restless and sleepless night. 

Whenever I submit a requirement, I feel like it needs to be always THOROUGHLY executed. Does thorough mean that it has to be perfect? I don't know, I'm don't think I'm trying to make it perfect. I just want it to be exhaustive or well-researched/well-explained. I guess this is where I'm having difficulty differentiating the perfection and thoroughness. If I'm through about my homework, does it mean that my work is perfect? Or if I'm striving for perfection, does it mean that my work is thorough and exhaustive? Non sequitur. 

I feel like my work is never enough, never thorough, that I have this need to do more and exceed expectations. Is this wrong? Is it wrong to go above and beyond of what is required? Perhaps... As the saying goes, Done is better than Perfect. I don't think I'm trying to be perfect, but I just want to be thorough. You know, autograph your work with excellence. I want to make sure that the reader understands what it is I'm explaining in my paper. Nothing wrong with this I guess, I just need to be reminded that there is a particular objective, a boundary, a limit, to the amount of work I put in. It's just like applying tretinoin. All you need is a pea-sized amount for your face, that's it. Increasing the amount does not increase the efficacy of the product. 

Maybe this is what I need to think of. Just go a little over of what is expected, not overly beyond of what is expected, just a little. This way, I don't need to slave over and take a lot of time in finishing my assignments. Maybe I need not overthink of coursework assignments. Choose my battles. Do not overthink on coursework assignments, but overthink when I'm designing and writing my publication manuscript or my dissertation. Or not. JUST DO A LITTLE OVER OF WHAT IS EXPECTED, but not to the point of exerting futile effort that results in undesirable feelings of anxiety, fear, and paralysis. Ninety percent out the door is better than 100 percent done on the table. 

The question now is, HOW do I do this? How do I break away from over exerting myself? I didn't resort to chatGPT for the answer but rather relied on trusty ol' Google. I found this article by Princeton Review. Apparently, there are a number of people who are also struggling in finishing their homework faster. I notice I'm already doing this through the Pomodoro technique. This technique really helps me in staying focused and working within an allotted time frame. However, sometimes I go beyond the allotted time that I set. Perhaps I just need to be determined (hello willpower) in detaching myself and letting go of not being able to finish an assignment. Tomorrow is another chance for me to work on the assignment anyway. Yeah, I think this is what I should do. 

To summarise:

1. List only what you can do for that day. Input in Pomofocus.io the tasks I need to do for the day. DO NOT include tasks that need to be done the next day. Only write down tasks needed to be done that day.
2. Let go if time is up and move on to the next task. If an assignment is not finished within the specified time duration, LET GO, move on to the next task on the list, and carry over that unfinished assignment in the task list for the next day.
3. Devise your game plan accordingly. Accurately estimate the amount of time needed to finish an assignment, and distribute that within the work week, making sure the assignment is submitted on time.
4. Ninety percent out the door is better than 100 percent done on the table. How do you know if you've answered enough? If you've answered the question, if you've listed the pros and the cons, and then you go back in reiterating the answer to the question. Your writing should be clear, concise, accurate, and coherent. Do not overcomplicate sentences.

I guess this should do for now. I'll revisit this post two weeks or a month from now and see if I have improved. 

until then,  

Words to live by: The Desiderata

Back in our house in Tahanan, we had a wooden plank wherein the Desiderata was written. It was placed on the wall along second floor hallway, you can't miss it. So every time I would wander around the house I would see this, stop, and read. This brings back memories of my childhood.

image credit: https://printedheron.com/blogs/resources/desiderata-free-printable-poem-for-your-journal-pages

My conversations with chatGPT

Conversations with artificial intelligence is here to stay, it seems.

OpenAI launched chatGPT recently and it has already been flooded by internet users. At one point, there were five million users in one day that it resulted in the website crashing. So now OpenAI introduced a subscription scheme to avail premium chatGPT features.

I first learned chatGPT from my friend, Harold. I posted on my IG stories about coding in R. I was typing and trying a lot of codes and still can't produce the answers I need. He then chatted me and told me I should just ask chatGPT. Of course I didn't try it right away. I have doubts about AI. I still believe that humans are way more intelligent than machines. But then I slowly came to realise that AI is not trying to outsmart or replace humans, it's ASSISTING humans by making processes more efficient. So when I had my back against a wall while figuring out an assignment (not a coding assignment), I sought the help of chatGPT. And it performed outstandingly.

My friend Rohit explained to me how chatGPT works: it's like Google, but instead of you sifting through the information that Google churns out, chatGPT parses internet information for your consumption. This way, the process becomes more efficient. And he's right! For example, I needed to find statistics for a particular disaster that I was looking for. Instead of Google giving me links to websites that answer, "number of fatalities in Japan earthquake in the past ten years", what chatGPT does is, it directly gives me the answer to that question. No links. But just an explanation of the context of the statistic and the statistic itself.

Conversing with chatGPT is like conversing with a highly unbiased intelligent person. I say unbiased because you will not be judged no matter how stupid or trivial your question is. For example, I wanted to buy a somewhat expensive watch and I asked chatGPT if I should buy it, given the limited resources that I have. chatGPT gave me factual consequences if I would purchase or not purchase that particular watch. chatGPT did not say, "do not buy that watch" or "go buy that watch, you deserve it". Instead, it gave me objective measures and reasons whether to buy it or not. Again, chatGPT is like this person who has all the answers to your questions and gives good advice, but ultimately let's you decide on which choice to make.

At one point, Mico and I were conversing and we started using chatGPT to ask questions about particular topics. chatGPT performed wonderfully. It's as if there was a third person who was conversing with us, giving all that rational and impartial advice. Mico and I thought if chatGPT can replace each of us in the relationship. Baka mamaya kaysa kausapin namin ang isa't-isa, eh kay chatGPT na kami lumapit. Haha! But then chatGPT is still just a machine. It may have all the information in the universe, but it's only as good as the the information that humans put into it. It cannot get smarter than humans. chatGPT also does not have a set of morals, principles, values, or beliefs. It is unable to discern between two right choices. It doesn't have a spirit in it. It is factual, but it cannot sense beyond what the user puts in.

So while chatGPT is great and amazingly wonderful in making processes efficient, it still cannot replace nor outsmart human-to-human interactions and human judgement.

Sanity check, one month into my 2023

 No filter on winter. Me at 37.

For 2023, I am really looking forward to… Part 3

 This post, I think, has been long overdue. I wrote last 12 January my plans for 2023. Last 15 January, I wrote the action plan for my trivial hobbies. It's only now, 13 February, that I'm writing my action plan for my PhD career goals. So it's been a month. Let's see what I've done so far.

I've written six goals: 1) Publish at least one paper this year; 2) Finish data collection for TRACE Alaska; 3) Get at least on A in Spring 2023; 4) Get accepted into another PhD program; 5) Present in at least one conference this year; and 6) Actively participate in the Arctic T-SLIP group.

1) Publish at least one paper this year. How will I do it? Well, I'm currently in the process of doing it. Here's what I've done so far: 

a. I've reached out to potential co-authors for the Maxent paper. Because I am not receiving the proper guidance and support from the senior author, I took it upon myself to actually contact and ask other scientists, who are well-versed in this field, to help me with the paper. I'm glad that both of those whom I reached out to agreed to help me, and they've already done so by contributing their substantial inputs for the abstract I submitted to RAD.

b. My lab mate and I have devised a workplan to write a paper this year, and get it published in the first quarter of 2024. She'll be a first author in one paper, and I'll be her co-author. And in another paper, I'll be first author, she'll be my co-author. We've also set 7hrs worth of time per week to get our tasks done What we're working on is not necessarily a topic I'm passionate about in pursuing, but if my other plans don't pan out, I should be ready to embrace this research on Alzheimer's Disease.

2) Finish data collection for TRACE Alaska. 

a. I should find a social scientist who is willing to co-author with me on this project and have the technical knowledge to carry out this survey. For this, I'm glad that I'm learning the ropes on how to conduct a proper survey. Proper meaning I need to identify the target population, the sample frame, the sample design, the mode of data collection, etc. Before I worked on this survey, THERE WAS ZERO INFORMATION given to me about the correct way of conducting surveys. All I was told to do distribute the survey, collect data, and then process it. Now I see how COMPLETELY INACCURATE and IMPRECISE this can be. You just can't hand out a survey to random people and ask for their perception about the risks associated with a landslide. How do we know that the questions we used in the survey correctly measure the construct? How do we know if it's valid? Ugh, so many flaws and inaccuracies!

3) Get at least one A this Spring 2023.  I only have two subject where I can be graded with a letter, the other one is just either pass or fail. So let's see how this pans out. But right now, I'm still in good standing with EPID; I've aced my assignments so far. As for BIOS, I don't have any grade yet because our assignment is still being checked. Let's see. I'm hopeful to get an A in one of these subjects, provided that I maintain my focus and discipline in studying for these subjects. Technique is to study at least one chapter per week so that during midterms and finals, I wouldn't be cramming so much to read all chapters in four days.

4) Get accepted into another PhD program. I really wouldn't know the results for this until March. That's for CU. The other one, I've already submitted my proposal to the professor and I'm just waiting on him to set a meeting so we can discuss the proposal further. After that perhaps I'll start working on my application for UC. It's funny that both universities I'm applying/will apply to have the same letters.

5) Present in at least one conference this year. Well, I'm not sure if it's a conference, but I submitted an abstract to HSC's Research Appreciation Day (RAD) happening in March. I don't think it's a conference, it's just a symposium. Anyway, there's still time in the year to actually look for a more "serious" conference. But then I have to work profusely on my paper so I can have something to present. If this doesn't happen, well at least I have RAD.

6) Actively participate in Arctic T-Slip. I was supposed to have a meeting this week but I was unable to attend because I had another meeting where I'm more needed to be involved in. I was supposed to attend in a meeting two weeks ago but wasn't able to log in Zoom because it asked for a passcode and the organizer wasn't able to give me one in time for the meeting. Anyway, I should email the organizer soon about my progress with the survey. I want to be part of this because this is a form of networking. The scientific community is a small community. Networking is important if you want to have collaborators for proposals.

Soooo as a closing statement, it's been a month since my new year has started officially. I haven't really done anything solid yet, but at least for goals one and five, it's going somewhere. Goal four, it's also going somewhere, I just need to patiently wait. Goals two and six, I'll try to get on with that this week. I should have a progress report template made  so I can check my milestones. But anyway, it's good I have this blog. 

until then,

A memory that I once had pet rats while pursuing my PhD in the US

 First two photos are with Henry, the third one is with Harry. Oh I love my baby rats <3 <3 <3 they give me so much joy and companionship. :')

Today's thoughts: Progress report of my trivial hobbies and Week 3

 So...

I haven't been exercising. I haven't been posting at least twice a week in my blog. But I'm already on a 21-day streak on Duolingo. So far by the end of January, I've only hit one of my three targets. This consistency thing is challenging. But let's see for February. 

For Duolingo, not only have I continued with my French and Spanish, I've also added Italian to the list. I'm glad I'm able to understand a few phrases of these three languages, with Spanish being my strongest. 

Anyway, let's try our best to be consistent with the blogging. As for exercising, I'll try. But it's just too damn cold to exercise in the gym. I try to keep active inside the apartment, doing squats and weights with one dumbbell. It's not as structured as I want it to be, but enough to elevate my heart rate.

Aside from assessing my progress at the end of January, let's see what happened this week...

This week's classes were all held virtually because of a snowstorm that happened here in Texas. temperatures dropped below 0degC since Monday until Thursday. In a way, I'm thankful whenever classes are done online because I don't need to wake up early to prepare and bike to school. I'm also never late when classes are via Zoom.

Another update: I was encouraged by my new adviser to submit an abstract for the Research Appreciation Day at our university. It's a week-long event where students and faculty showcase their research through poster presentations. This takes me back to my UP days in 2007-2011 where my paper took me to three conferences abroad --- Italy, Austria, and Thailand --- and one local conference --- Davao. It's been more than a decade since and this abstract submission is making me anxious. I'm really thankful for my new adviser now for being supportive and encouraging. A student's productivity is also in part of the adviser's mentoring. And I'm glad the new one that I have is a nurturing mentor. I look forward to working with him in the years to come, that is, if I plan to stay at HSC.

This week also, I was able to work on my assignments at a leisurely pace and submit it on time. I also was able to read up for one of my classes, and I plan to continue reading until I finish it. I must say, not procrastinating is something so joyful and so relaxing. Being able to tick everything in the list on time, and having extra personal time to spend because you're done with work, ah, it's truly fulfilling. 

I've read numerous times in books and articles that being able to finish work actually fuels you to do more work, which in turn prevents procrastination. And yes, that is very true. That rush of excitement and fulfillment having been able to finish your task well ahead of the deadline or just in time but at a leisurely pace, it's inspiring and motivating. Seeing the task boxes ticked in my Supernote makes me super happy.

I really should keep this up. Little by little, I'm able to master myself. I like this feeling. :)