Today's thoughts

Today I received all my grades. It is not the official statement of results released by ANU after every semester but the grade average I computed is what will reflect on that document.

I feel so relieved. So this is how it feels like to have no grade below distinction (70%). My first semester in ANU was not a good one. I received grades of P. P for POTA PASS lang ako. Haha! That cost-benefit analysis subject was a killer for me who do not know anything about economics, shadow pricing, economic and financial valuation, and the like. It was a struggle. I learned the hard way. I had FIVE friggin' subjects for my first semester. Four subjects for the regular semester and one subject for spring. Five subjects. FIVE. WTF. Ayan tuloy my papers were always late and I had to pay the price of being deducted 5% for every day late. It was difficult. But I would just tell myself to FINISH STRONG. No need to waste time and energy wallowing on the past. I should learn from it and make sure not to commit the same mistakes again.

That's what I tried to do this semester. It is a difficult one as we are vying for the research track. Research is difficult and challenging. I love challenges! It makes me grow. It is emotionally and mentally difficult. But what does not kill me make me stronger. Putting myself in the same predicament, just like what happened in my masters in UP, lets me experience again those sleepless nights, self-doubt, hormonal imbalances, relationship problems, etc. But that's what gives meaning to my life. I love that because it makes me tougher. I learn so much and I love learning. I love to learn because it equips me with the right tools to help others, especially the marginalized members of society.

Today's thoughts

CURRENT MOOD (lyrics from here)

"Unti-Unti" (Up Dharma Down)

Unti-unting naglalapit

Ang ating mga mundo

Pag-asa ay ating bitbit

Maligaya’t walang takot

Ang saya at pagsinta’y

Tila walang kapantay

Inaabangan ang bawat pagtagpo

Walang mintis ang tuwa

Sating dalawa

Hinamak ang lahat

Unti unting nawawala

Ang iyong mga salita

Dahan dahang naglalaho

Ang lahat ng pangako

Napapansing lumalayo

Ang 'iyong tingin

Di na alam ang dapat kong gawin

Tuluyan ka na bang mawawala sa 'kin

Ang tamis at aruga

Na laganap sa simula

Ngayo'y nabaon na

Sa puso't isip na mapait

'Di na maibabalik

Sa unang araw.

Ang pait at ang sakit

Na dati'y wala naman

Ngayon ay hindi na mailagan

Ang tanong na walang sagot

Luha ang nadudulot

Sa ating mga mata

Hahanap-hanapin

Ang mga bulong sa gabi

Ulit-ulitin

Ang bawat kwento at sikreto natin

Hanggang wala na

Ang luha sa puso ko

Hanggang sa muli

Tayo rin ang magtatagpo