Currently I’m stuck in a dilemma. I’ve learned just today, 9 November/ Wednesday, at around 8AM that I will present at the NIGSCON 2011 on 10 November/ Thursday, 10:30AM. Wow. I assumed that since I wasn’t able to submit an abstract, though I submitted a title, I’ll be automatically removed from the symposium. But no. Huhuhu. It was my professor/mentor/adviser/boss who even texted me this morning to let me know my name was included in the program. I panicked; I didn’t know what to do. She told me to remove my name from the program otherwise “masisisi na naman tayo dyan”, as she have stated. I am now confused whether to present or not. Whoo. Decisions, decisions. If you cannot defend your decision with conviction and honesty, be ready to suffer the consequences. If I present, I MAY suffer the consequence of having a bad presentation; a presentation not reviewed by my adviser. If I do not present, I WILL suffer the consequence of failing my professor, forsaking my slot in the symposium, and just being a coward. Take note of ‘MAY’ and ‘WILL’. For someone reading this, the logical answer should be: mag-present ka na! What’s 15 minutes of talking in front of scholarly people for someone who keeps on talking almost non-stop all day? Yun yun e. The difference lies in the AUDIENCE. Bring me in front of my fellow youth to talk about leadership, passion, achieving your dreams, being happy and contented, no problem with that! It’s very easy. Impromptu speech about inspiring others, go! Sudden introductory/opening remarks, I’m game!
But this… the academic people… AYAYAY! It’s a different ball game. They will criticize you, scrutinize you, hang you dry in the open. In short, they will eat you alive!!! Gusto ko ba ‘to??? Gusto ko ba ‘to???
I am writing this entry because I need to feel again how to write. It has been quite a while since I last wrote in a journal, complete with all the emotions and all those English words. I just have to get my juices flowing again.
I’ve thought a lot of things to blog lately. Every time I would experience something great, a realization or insight or something funny/wonderful/sublime, I would tell myself, “This is worth blogging”. Compendiums of consciousness were stored in my memory. However, they have seemed to lodge in the frontal lobe’s short-term memory area, where it can only be remembered to a maximum of seven to eight seconds. Sigh. I’m trying to probe my long-term memory for possible records of such compendiums.
Searching…
Searching…
Searching…
File not found…
YET.
Soon perhaps.
Sigh. Reading what I’ve written above makes me feel compelled to do it. Just do the frickin’ presentation! Just present! Fifteen minutes plus five minutes of questioning, that’s it! Never mind if you’re exposed. Never mind the flaws. Never mind the mistakes and the humiliation you’ll feel if someone will badger you with questions. I know that after this presentation, I will come out relieved, stronger, and not afraid to face my professor. Kasi I need her signature for my Form 5 eh, hahaha!
LET’S GO EDZ!!!
THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER!!!
